👰Getting married but preparing for divorce

1-800-Bridesmaid

📞 Hello? Hi. It’s me, Jen Glantz. Welcome to the 1-800-Bridesmaid, by Bridesmaid for Hire. A place where real stories are shared and your best advice is given.

This week: The bride from last week read all of your comments/advice and wants to share an update on what she plans to do.

Last week: A bride confessed that she doesn’t think it’s best to marry a guy she fights with constantly. But their wedding is three weeks away. Here’s what you told her to do.

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👰Getting Married But Preparing for Divorce

Dear 1-800-Bridesmaid,

It's S. here from last week. I read all of your advice and have some follow-up things to share. I appreciate how honest and blunt you were with me. It helped me sort things out in my head a bit. So here’s where I’m at:

I actually asked my fiancé what he thinks about us getting married even though we're fighting constantly. He said maybe that's our love language. Should I believe that? Part of me wants to, but another part is screaming that it's not healthy.

Therapy: Look, I get it. It's probably a good idea. But with just two weeks until the wedding, how are we supposed to fit that in? Between final dress fittings and seating arrangements, there's just no time.

Some suggested not signing the marriage license. IDK how to convince my fiance to go along with that when he doesn’t think our relationship is a mess. People said back out of the wedding but that just isn’t realistic when it’s soooo close and we’d be losing more than $40k.

Everyone said we should improve our communication skills, but how exactly? We've been together for three years, and our communication style is what it is. I'm not sure we can overhaul that in two weeks.

So, here's where I'm at: I'm thinking of going through with the wedding. I'm hopeful that once we're past the stress of wedding planning, things will improve. Maybe being married will make us both try harder?

But I'm not naive. I want to prepare for a potential divorce, just in case. How can I protect my finances? Is there a way to keep the wedding money safe if things go south? A prenup is out of the question — so any advice would be so helpful.

I want to be clear: I'm not planning for divorce. I'm just... preparing for all possibilities. If this relationship does end down the road, I want to come out of it supported.

I guess I’m asking people to tell me if I’m being delusional about hoping everything will magically work out post-wedding? Should I buy into my fiancé's idea that constant fighting is just our unique way of expressing love?

-S.

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💗 A Few Things I’m Loving:

• I live in this sweatshirt. I have it in white and black.

• I mostly wear workout clothes so I invested in a matching set that looks great and makes my workout attire feel put together. These pants are my favorite and this sports bra is great too. Expensive, but comfortable and fits well. I got it in light blue and black.

• I just wore this dress to a wedding this weekend. It is now my favorite dress in the entire world.

• Still wearing these every single day.

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What’s new with Bridesmaid for Hire:

• Jen Glantz here! I’m so grateful you’re here. I started 1-800-Bridesmaid as a way to bring you into the world of my life as a hired bridesmaid for strangers.

  If you’re wondering what I’ve been up to lately, here’s a little preview:

  • A lot of you are reaching out to see if we are still hiring. Yes, but at the moment, there aren’t any open positions. I’ll keep you posted inside the newsletter when open positions to work weddings pop up.

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