😞 All the Work, Not the Bridesmaid
1-800-Bridesmaid
📞 Hello? Hi. It’s me, Jen Glantz. Welcome to the 1-800-Bridesmaid, by Bridesmaid for Hire. A place where real stories are shared and your best advice is given.
This week: A friend is fed up. She’s not an official bridesmaid but getting asked to put in a lot of time and $$ as if she was. What the heck should she do?
Last week: A newly engaged bride is struggling with what to do about her sister. Here’s what you told her.
Hold please:
Ps. Anyone who grabs my new book: Finally the Bride on Amazon this week gets a free Newlywed Card Game mailed to them! The perfect gift for an engaged/married friend + or yourself! Hit reply with a screenshot of your order + address details and the card game is yours!
Dear 1-800-Bridesmaid,
My longtime friend got engaged three months ago, and I was genuinely surprised when she didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid. We've been close for nearly a decade, and I've always imagined being part of her wedding party when the time came.
When I finally worked up the courage to ask about it, she explained that she "needed bridesmaids who could commit to every pre-wedding event," and since I'd mentioned potentially missing her engagement party due to a work commitment (which I ended up attending anyway), she didn't think I could handle the responsibility. I was hurt but tried to understand her perspective and didn't push the issue.
Here's where things get complicated: despite not being "bridesmaid material," I've somehow become her unofficial wedding assistant. Her actual bridesmaids and Maid of Honor have been consistently unavailable or uninterested in helping with wedding preparations. In the past month alone, I've attended her dress fittings (twice), helped address 200+ invitations, accompanied her to numerous vendor appointments, and even helped her shop for bridesmaid gifts for the friends who haven't lifted a finger to help!
Yesterday, she called asking me to plan her bachelorette party because her Maid of Honor is "overwhelmed" and the bridesmaids are "too busy." The irony isn't lost on me that I'm apparently reliable enough to handle these responsibilities but wasn't considered dependable enough to be an official bridesmaid.
I value our friendship, but I'm starting to feel used. I'm putting in more time and effort than her actual wedding party, yet I don't get the recognition or even a plus-one to the wedding. Part of me wants to politely decline any further requests and set some boundaries, but I worry this will damage our friendship. Then again, continuing to be her unpaid wedding coordinator while being treated as a second-tier friend doesn't feel great either.
Am I being petty if I start saying no to these requests? Is there a kind way to express my feelings without coming across as jealous or unsupportive? I want to be a good friend, but this situation has me questioning what that actually means.
Sincerely,
Mari
👏 Professional Bridesmaid Picks!
Here is the link to my book!! Finally the Bride. Thank you for considering reading the book and for your support. There are so many ways to help an author — so here are some if you have a few mins to spare:
Leave an Amazon review for the book! I want to try to get to 100. Can you help me? You can leave a review this in under 15-seconds here.
Share the book with anyone in your world who might be in the mood for a rom-com with a lot of twists, laughs, and oddball moments.
🛍️: A few items I swear by this week
I was on the hunt for a new pair of jeans and I found these. They are INCREDIBLE and only $30. I feel like they make me look tall, thin, and stylish. I’m grabbing them in two more colors.
The hand vase for the wall. I love this!
Resharing these sneakers because they are great with jeans, leggings, and dresses.
20% off this spring quilted jacket from Gap this week.
Keeping my eyes on this dress for spring/summer. If you sign up to their email list, you get 20% off!
🎵: A fun fun song for this morning.
📚:I’m listening to this book as an audiobook this week.
What’s new with Bridesmaid for Hire:
Jen Glantz here! I’m so grateful you’re here. I started 1-800-Bridesmaid as a way to bring you into the world of my life as a hired bridesmaid for strangers.
If you’re wondering what I’ve been up to lately, here’s a little preview:
A lot of you are reaching out to see if we are still hiring. Yes, but at the moment, there aren’t any open positions. I’ll keep you posted inside the newsletter when open positions to work weddings pop up.
My new book Finally the Bride is now available on Amazon!
My team and I developed these interactive maid of honor/best man speech, wedding officiant speech, and wedding vow tools. You chat with us about the stories, details, and memories you want to include and I write the speech for you — in just a few hours. If you have a wedding coming up and need a speech, check this out. We’re expanding this month to offer wedding officiant and father of the bride/goom and mother of the bride/groom speeches.
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