I Don't Love You (Part 2)
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This week: Today we continue to read about a bride-to-be whose fiance is in the friend zone.
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💔I Don't Love You (Part 2)
Last time we chatted, I shared the story of the bride who confessed to me, 3-months before her wedding, that she had rapidly untwisted out of love. She wasn’t so sure Seth, the guy she was about to marry, was the guy she wanted to be with forever.
We talked about this a lot. We picked apart the meaning of the love, her fears about the future, and the list of things about Seth that kept making her break out into hives.
On the night she finally told Seth that she wasn’t feeling the feels for him anymore, I got a knock on my door, and there he was, at my house, all alone.
I didn’t open the door at first because I was scared and also in shock. How did he know where I lived? We had met three times before, with the bride there, but mostly in public places. She had been to my apartment once, a few months back, to try on dresses for her rehearsal dinner.
I pretended I wasn’t home but kept my eye on the peephole. Suddenly, when I looked closer, to the left was the bride. She was there too.
I unlocked my door, pulled it open, and showed my teeth.
“Jen,” she started saying. “He knows everything.”
“Everything?” I shot back.
“Everything,” he answered.
I learned in my gig as a hired bridesmaid that silence helps more than rambling does. This is a life lesson not so easy for a blabbermouth like myself who dreads awkward silence. But at that moment, I crossed my arms and buckled my lips.
Until I just couldn’t take it anymore.
“And???” I asked, expecting an explanation and an apology for showing up at my door on a Friday night.
[Note to self: I don’t charge clients enough moment for moments like these.]
“And he sort of feels the same,” she said. “But...”
“But?” I said.
“He wants to go through with the wedding anyway.”
It turned out, Seth was catching the vibes the bride was tossing his way. He knew that she wasn't into him anymore but he didn’t know how to bring that up to her. Now that the wedding was less than 29 days away, he wanted to go through with the wedding. He didn’t want everyone in his life to know the truth -- yet.
She felt the same. Canceling the party, losing $80,000, and having to listen to friends and family tell her how sorry they were for her broken engagement just seemed daunting.
They were at my door asking permission to have the wedding with a fake marriage.
A few times before this same thing has happened. A couple didn’t want to end their engagement so close to the wedding that they went through with it. Some didn’t sign the marriage license and some did but got divorced later on.
I told them that calling it off would hurt their bank account but wouldn’t be the end of the world if that’s what they wanted.
“We don’t want that,” they said.
They seemed on the same page, content, thrilled.
“Well then, okay. Do what you want and I will be there.”
And I was there...on their wedding day.
When people find out I’m a hired bridesmaid, they think I zip on a dress, hug a bunch of people I don’t know, and walk down the aisle with a smile on my face.
What they don’t see are the secrets stuffed inside of my brain and the guilt safety pinned onto my heart.
I’ve seen so much on the job that doesn’t resemble love in any way shape or form.
Sometimes I’m by someone’s side for the happiest day of their life and other times I’m by someone’s side for the toughest day of their life. You wouldn’t know that because when it comes time to say I do, people do. They kiss, they smile, they walk side-by-side, and they turn to me and wink.
The secret hired bridesmaid who showed up and did what they wanted, even if it’s not what I would have wanted them to do in the first place.
All my love,
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