💔Can Being a Bridesmaid Fix a Friendship? (Part 2)
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📞 Hello? Hi. It’s me, Jen Glantz. Welcome to the Bridesmaid for Hire Hotline. A place where real stories are shared and your best advice is given.
This week: Part 2: How being a bridesmaid can make or break friendships.👇
Last week: I shared a personal story of how I friend I hardly spoke to anymore asked me to be her bridesmaid. I didn’t want to say yes. But saying no felt harder. Today, I’ll share what happened next.
Hold please:
💔Being a Bridesmaid Can Ruin a Friendship
Chances are, though, that friendship was already broken.
I said yes to being Liza's bridesmaid because saying no felt like it would be the final nail in the coffin of our friendship. We were barely friends anymore, but I was holding onto that tiny spark of connection with all my might.
It's a strange and unsettling feeling because friendship should make you feel comfortable, loved, and safe. When it doesn't, you know you should walk away. Yet, often, we find ourselves drawn back to that person, time and time again, hoping things will change.
Liza asked me to be her bridesmaid, hoping it would mend the cracks in our friendship. I said yes, clinging to that same hope.
But in the end, it wasn't enough to repair what had been broken.
But I did try. She did too.
I was there for her throughout the entire wedding process, showing up to every event and checking in weekly to offer specific ways I could help. We spent more time together than we had in years, grabbing coffee or shopping for her wedding. I even put aside my differences and worked well with her maid of honor, the infamous Kara, who had played a role in damaging my friendship with Liza. Despite Kara's occasional nastiness, I treated her with kindness and respect, never letting her ick’s get to me.
It was the version of our friendship that I had desperately longed for - Liza back in my life, and me in hers. However, the bliss and specialness I had hoped for were replaced by a sense of transactional emptiness and expiration. Our conversations, when we were together, seemed to revolve solely around her wedding, rarely veering in other directions.
When the wedding finally came to an end, so did our friendship. But this time, it was a full-stop.
I never heard from Liza again, not even a word of thanks for being there for her as a bridesmaid.
As I hugged her goodbye at the end of her wedding, I told her:
This was a lot of fun.
She simply replied, It really was.
Being her bridesmaid didn’t repair our friendship. It did give me closure.
For the first time in my life I realized that every friendship has seasons to it.
Summer can’t last forever (I guess unless you live in Florida) so when it’s over, you have to admit it happened and it was magical but now it’s time for pants and jackets and emptiness.
Eventually, usually slowly, new people will enter your life. You will have inside jokes with them. You’ll meet them for coffee at 3pm and talk about cellulite and your annoying coworker. You’ll text them from 8-9pm on a Monday as you both watch The Bachelor.
Days will pass and they’ll start to know you so well they suggest books you should read and months will go by and you’ll know the intricate details of the 5-year-plan they think they want to live out in life. Years will pass and they’ll be the first to know that you’re pregnant and scared to be someone’s mom.
You’ll never stop thinking about that friend — the one from that season in your life where you and them were as close as sisters. Dumb things will remind you of them. People will wonder why you just smiled in silence out of the blue when you hear that one song blaring through the sound system at a bar — the song you two used to dance to. You might never say certain phrases or wear that one perfume or reach too deeply into the jar of memories from that time because it could make you sad.
Missing anything always does.
But when you shake off the lint of that person and look at your life, the one you are living now, you will remember that when people start to slip away, grab on to them, just tight enough. Like a secret-handshake of sorts, they’ll let you know if they want to stay or if they forgot what comes next.
Being a bridesmaid can fix a friendship. But it can break one too, ultimately leading to the bittersweet realization that sometimes, letting go is the only way forward.
💗 A Few Things I’m Loving:
All our favorites in one place here.
I’m actually super impressed by Abercrombie’s dresses this season. There are so many good looks for casual outings, wedding events, and even for the bride-to-be. But I’m a weary online shopper. I went in-store and tried on a bunch. Here are the high-quality dresses that looked as good IRL as they did online:
Casual Looks:
This dress is a Reformation dupe and half the price. It fit well and could be styled down with a jean jacket or styled up with heels.
I sized up so it wouldn’t be too tight and it was the perfect mini summer dress.
A bold look and i’m not sure where I’ll wear it yet but I had to have it in my closet this season.
For Wedding Events:
I grabbed this one for a wedding where the dress-code is “black dress”
Obsessed with the color of this dress. TBH, It looked better when I had shapewear under it though.
I loved this dress on. I’m feeling blahhh about my body these days so I liked the coverage this dress had while also looking chic and stylish.
I kept thinking this dress looked like a $400 dress on, wow. It’s gorgeous and so perfect for a lot of wedding dress codes this summer.
Bride-to-Be? Grab These:
The perfect dress for a bachelorette party night out. You’ll need to go bra-less — which isn’t an option for a gal like me (my postpartum D-cup boob situation) so I put these on with the dress and it worked out perfectly.
Almost gone but great for a bridal shower or anyone who wants a casual white dress. I bought it in black.
A sweet short-dress look for engagement photos or the bridal shower.
Ps. I'm Jen Glantz and this is my Bridesmaid for Hire newsletter.
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