Girl, get a red or black dress please, I beg of you to show her who the boss it. You can’t talk to people like her, you have to show them. Work on your ignoring skills and test them when she’s in the equation
4. Boundaries outside of the wedding with MIL. I would be considerate of your shared time together (holidays, events, etc.) You are allowed to set boundaries for your own sanity. If this means she doesn't get to see you for Thanksgiving/Christmas because she's being a B****, sorry, not sorry.
I hope that there is time for you to address this before the day.
My unedited view of this is; your fiance MUST be 100% with you NOW in ending this behaviour NOW and FOREVER (assuming that your marriage thrives).
It is many years' hence that if your marriage DOES thrive, that you will have been tortured.
That is a HARD no. You do not need to age prematurely, and this is recipe for hell.
Your fiance must step up now and make this behaviour stop. He must be the one to set the NON-NEGOTIABLE boundary.
Non-negotiable.
He must be absolutely loyal to YOU FIRST. In other words, if she does anything in this line one more time, go no contact. It is the only way. If she is not put under control immediately, it will be completely unstoppable later and she will only get worse.
I speak from hard experience. I was in two relationships with a mother like this and I didn't put my foot down and I paid the ultimate price. I never had a day of peace and the relationships failed - this issue was a major factor that destroyed them.
I have spoken this strongly because I hear how much pain this is causing you, I have seen this hideous dynamic play out with horrifying regularity, and I want you to not have to suffer it any longer.
Women need to be very powerfully supporting other women. This woman is actively cutting you down and being a destructive evil force against you. It is unacceptable.
Your potential life-partner must be exactly that, YOUR partner, 100% unequivocally loyal to YOU FIRST, not a sideline watcher as his family destroys his partner's daily.
I usually say make him "stand up for you", but she just sounds opinionated. I wouldn't take it personally. A lovely big close-knit family is something many people dream of, but it's not always a possibility. Are you really willing to give up a great life-partner because his mom is annoying and opinionated? Has she disrespected you?
Girl, get a red or black dress please, I beg of you to show her who the boss it. You can’t talk to people like her, you have to show them. Work on your ignoring skills and test them when she’s in the equation
I also agree - I support your hot pink dress 100%
Agree. She should wear something bold
Alright. Speaking to you like a bestie, short & to the point (hopefully).
1. That lady is crazy.
2. You need to have a conversation with your fiancé. You need to explain the struggles you are facing with her and how they're making you feel (beyond just in this moment, what does this mean for future of your marriage/family). If he doesn't stand up for you, this could be a deal-breaker for your future. When you're getting married, you become his immediate family. He needs to begin acting like such, because at this point, it doesn't seem like he is.
3. I would try (try being a key word) and have a very real conversation with her. The way she's treating you is not appreciated, and unacceptable. If she continues to be disrespectful, she will no longer be invited to (and you need to follow through on this-if possible, get your fiancé on board too) things leading up to the wedding: dress shopping, bachelorette (some people invite their MIL-idk), bridal showers, etc.
4. Boundaries outside of the wedding with MIL. I would be considerate of your shared time together (holidays, events, etc.) You are allowed to set boundaries for your own sanity. If this means she doesn't get to see you for Thanksgiving/Christmas because she's being a B****, sorry, not sorry.
#4 is everything!!
Dear J,
I would hate for this to be your life. Dear GOD.
I hope that there is time for you to address this before the day.
My unedited view of this is; your fiance MUST be 100% with you NOW in ending this behaviour NOW and FOREVER (assuming that your marriage thrives).
It is many years' hence that if your marriage DOES thrive, that you will have been tortured.
That is a HARD no. You do not need to age prematurely, and this is recipe for hell.
Your fiance must step up now and make this behaviour stop. He must be the one to set the NON-NEGOTIABLE boundary.
Non-negotiable.
He must be absolutely loyal to YOU FIRST. In other words, if she does anything in this line one more time, go no contact. It is the only way. If she is not put under control immediately, it will be completely unstoppable later and she will only get worse.
I speak from hard experience. I was in two relationships with a mother like this and I didn't put my foot down and I paid the ultimate price. I never had a day of peace and the relationships failed - this issue was a major factor that destroyed them.
I have spoken this strongly because I hear how much pain this is causing you, I have seen this hideous dynamic play out with horrifying regularity, and I want you to not have to suffer it any longer.
Women need to be very powerfully supporting other women. This woman is actively cutting you down and being a destructive evil force against you. It is unacceptable.
Your potential life-partner must be exactly that, YOUR partner, 100% unequivocally loyal to YOU FIRST, not a sideline watcher as his family destroys his partner's daily.
Love,
Eva
Agree she needs to get her fiance to stand up for her ASAP
I usually say make him "stand up for you", but she just sounds opinionated. I wouldn't take it personally. A lovely big close-knit family is something many people dream of, but it's not always a possibility. Are you really willing to give up a great life-partner because his mom is annoying and opinionated? Has she disrespected you?