Tell your fiance. You can't build a marriage or relationship based on lies. And if he's such a good man, you should let him go instead of pining over your ex boyfriend. You can't have it both ways. Betrayal is the worst you can do to your partner. It sounds harsh, but the difficult path is always better than the easiest way out.
There is zero way to sugarcoat this. If you literally married your fiancé under these circumstances, that would be despicable. Do you know what marriage even is??
It also sounds extremely desperate as though you just need to “be married” to whoever will have you.
Imagine your fiancé was stalking and obsessing over another woman? People would call him a monster narcissist and the whole 9 yards. It’s gross and disturbing. I mean, get it together.
FREE HIM if you have any ounce of respect for him. He’s OBVIOUSLY not the one for you and you are OBVIOUSLY not the one for him. You don’t need a husband. You need self-esteem and common sense.
Your ex doesn’t even like you and dropped you like a hot potato. No one who is invested in you just takes off, never to hear from them again. THAT is your “closure.” You just don’t want to accept that. (Just like no one who is invested in their fiancé is literally stalking their ex online and in person, unable to live without them.)
And YOU are sitting outside his place??!! Do you not see how creepy that is? If I knew an ex was outside my place, pining over me in his car I would call the police. (It's amazing what women will do, but if their guy was doing the same, they would freak out and call him "psycho.") Would you not be completely embarrassed if your ex saw you doing this?
And if your so-called "fiance" still wants to marry you if you tell him this, he’s even more desperate than you.
I'm not going to bash you, but there are some important things to consider here. The first being, why are you with your fiancé? And I mean that genuinely. Someone can look good on paper, but if you're not in it, you're not in it. Now is a good time to figure that out before you're looking at an expensive divorce later. All in all, it's also not fair to your fiancé to be acting on your feelings the way you have.
The next thing to consider is that intense, passionate connections are often not the most fulfilling or healthy. You were almost married, but he left after an argument. That's the end of your story. And, your intense connection may be why he left. Not to say that's on you, but again, intense connections are not usually healthy.
The last thing to consider here is that it's easy to romanticize past relationships when there's no possibility of getting back together. Your ex is likely a different person now, just like you are. There's no way to know it could even work out now. Given your history, current actions, and the breakup you already went through? It's over, and you need to take significant steps to move on. If he were the one for you, he would still be here, but he isn't, and what you're doing is harmful to the man you promised to spend your life with.
If you're looking to get married just to get married, then please end this relationship. Seek therapy, take care of yourself, and get comfortable being alone for now. I mean that most lovingly, as someone who married for convenience and regretted it not long after. I haven't been married since and won't be until I find the right person -- no matter how long that takes or how old I am.
Tell your fiance. You can't build a marriage or relationship based on lies. And if he's such a good man, you should let him go instead of pining over your ex boyfriend. You can't have it both ways. Betrayal is the worst you can do to your partner. It sounds harsh, but the difficult path is always better than the easiest way out.
This is sooo real and true.
There is zero way to sugarcoat this. If you literally married your fiancé under these circumstances, that would be despicable. Do you know what marriage even is??
It also sounds extremely desperate as though you just need to “be married” to whoever will have you.
Imagine your fiancé was stalking and obsessing over another woman? People would call him a monster narcissist and the whole 9 yards. It’s gross and disturbing. I mean, get it together.
FREE HIM if you have any ounce of respect for him. He’s OBVIOUSLY not the one for you and you are OBVIOUSLY not the one for him. You don’t need a husband. You need self-esteem and common sense.
Your ex doesn’t even like you and dropped you like a hot potato. No one who is invested in you just takes off, never to hear from them again. THAT is your “closure.” You just don’t want to accept that. (Just like no one who is invested in their fiancé is literally stalking their ex online and in person, unable to live without them.)
And YOU are sitting outside his place??!! Do you not see how creepy that is? If I knew an ex was outside my place, pining over me in his car I would call the police. (It's amazing what women will do, but if their guy was doing the same, they would freak out and call him "psycho.") Would you not be completely embarrassed if your ex saw you doing this?
And if your so-called "fiance" still wants to marry you if you tell him this, he’s even more desperate than you.
It’s tight but it’s right!
I'm not going to bash you, but there are some important things to consider here. The first being, why are you with your fiancé? And I mean that genuinely. Someone can look good on paper, but if you're not in it, you're not in it. Now is a good time to figure that out before you're looking at an expensive divorce later. All in all, it's also not fair to your fiancé to be acting on your feelings the way you have.
The next thing to consider is that intense, passionate connections are often not the most fulfilling or healthy. You were almost married, but he left after an argument. That's the end of your story. And, your intense connection may be why he left. Not to say that's on you, but again, intense connections are not usually healthy.
The last thing to consider here is that it's easy to romanticize past relationships when there's no possibility of getting back together. Your ex is likely a different person now, just like you are. There's no way to know it could even work out now. Given your history, current actions, and the breakup you already went through? It's over, and you need to take significant steps to move on. If he were the one for you, he would still be here, but he isn't, and what you're doing is harmful to the man you promised to spend your life with.
If you're looking to get married just to get married, then please end this relationship. Seek therapy, take care of yourself, and get comfortable being alone for now. I mean that most lovingly, as someone who married for convenience and regretted it not long after. I haven't been married since and won't be until I find the right person -- no matter how long that takes or how old I am.