😲 Take your ex off the guest list
1-800-Bridesmaid
📞 Hello? Hi. It’s me, Jen Glantz. Welcome to the 1-800-Bridesmaid, by Bridesmaid for Hire. A place where real stories are shared and your best advice is given.
This week: A woman does not want her fiance to invite his ex to the wedding. He says she has to be there.
Last week: caller wants to know if she can back out of being a bridesmaid for her boyfriend's best friend. Here’s what you told her.
Hold please:
Dear 1-8-00-Bridesmaid,
My fiancé recently informed me that he wants to invite his ex-wife to our upcoming wedding. When I asked why, he explained, "I want to show my son healthy co-parenting dynamics, so my ex needs to be there."
I responded with, "Our wedding day isn't the appropriate venue for demonstrating co-parenting." Despite this, he remains insistent that his ex must attend.
I'm struggling to understand why it's so important for him to have his ex at OUR wedding. We don't even have a relationship with her. Their son doesn't have a strong connection with her either—she only sees him occasionally, maybe twice a week at most. There's no lingering friendship between them.
They've been divorced for nearly a decade. She’s not nice to any of us. A few months ago, she yelled at my husband for 30-minutes over a haircut he took his son to get.
Despite all this history, he still believes she NEEDS to be at our wedding for the sake of their preteen son.
What should I do?
-Aimee
Have more advice for Aimee? Been in a similar situation? Share more below
👏 Professional Bridesmaid Picks of the Week
Hello dear April! It might a rainy month, but here are some easy ways to bring some sunshine into your dazzling days.
Jeans: You know I’ve been on a jean journey lately. I’m obsessed with these $29 jeans from H&M. But on my birthday, I walked by Rag & Bone and tried on their viral sweatpant jeans. They were so comfy but sooo expsenive. I decided to take them home and wear them around the house to see if they are worth it. After a week, I can tell you this: they are amazing to wear, look so good on, and way more comfortable than any jeans I’ve ever worn. They are not worth the price tag, but I’m a bargain shopper and no jeans to me are worth more than $60. If you want to splurge on something soft for spring and summer, try these jeans on!
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Necklace: One of my favorite birthday gifts was a G bubble letter necklace. They are so trendy and they really do elevate any outfit. Here’s where you can grab one — they make a great gift!
Song: Used this song to get out of bed today and really feel alive. Like realllly alive. What do you feel when you listen to it?
What’s new with Bridesmaid for Hire:
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I think there are multiple truths here. I am all for healthy co-parenting relationships. So I will say that it’s great that your husband wants to have the mother of his child included in life events. Regardless of feelings towards this individual, they have a significant role in your step son’s life and you two will be tied forever. However, this should not erase or invalidate your discomfort in the situation. Your wedding should be a place where your joy is centered because ultimately the wedding is about you and your husband. Figuring out what will work best for both of you is paramount and going into a marriage with an ultimatum is not the best foundation. Hoping you are able to further communicate with your husband your concerns and wishing you a speedy and kind conclusion.
I agree with Meg, this is a difficult situation. I know plenty of couples who are co-parenting and getting along as friends, but this does not seem to be your situation. If the mother is not in her son’s life or your partner’s life, I’m curious why she would want to be at your wedding. Have you asked your partner this? Has she mentioned to him that she wants to be there and this is the reason he is insisting on inviting her? Or is it just him who came up with the idea?
I also suggest talking with your partner to understand why, maybe even asking your step son how he feels