I think there are multiple truths here. I am all for healthy co-parenting relationships. So I will say that it’s great that your husband wants to have the mother of his child included in life events. Regardless of feelings towards this individual, they have a significant role in your step son’s life and you two will be tied forever. However, this should not erase or invalidate your discomfort in the situation. Your wedding should be a place where your joy is centered because ultimately the wedding is about you and your husband. Figuring out what will work best for both of you is paramount and going into a marriage with an ultimatum is not the best foundation. Hoping you are able to further communicate with your husband your concerns and wishing you a speedy and kind conclusion.
I agree with Meg, this is a difficult situation. I know plenty of couples who are co-parenting and getting along as friends, but this does not seem to be your situation. If the mother is not in her son’s life or your partner’s life, I’m curious why she would want to be at your wedding. Have you asked your partner this? Has she mentioned to him that she wants to be there and this is the reason he is insisting on inviting her? Or is it just him who came up with the idea?
I also suggest talking with your partner to understand why, maybe even asking your step son how he feels
He will have a lifelong relationship with his child and his ex. If you are not comfortable with that relationship you should look in the mirror and ask yourself why you are so insecure in this relationship. This wedding should be postponed until the deeper insecurities in your relationship are addressed which may result in no wedding at all. Get to the bottom of these feelings/emotions before tying the knot.
It's completely suspicious. If she doesn't have a relationship with either of them why is he insisting. Is he wanting to be petty about moving on because he knows his ex still entertains the idea of being with him or is it as horrible as he wants her there because he is cheating on you with his ex. Either way a talk has to happen. A wedding shouldn't happen until all cards are on the table.
I think there are multiple truths here. I am all for healthy co-parenting relationships. So I will say that it’s great that your husband wants to have the mother of his child included in life events. Regardless of feelings towards this individual, they have a significant role in your step son’s life and you two will be tied forever. However, this should not erase or invalidate your discomfort in the situation. Your wedding should be a place where your joy is centered because ultimately the wedding is about you and your husband. Figuring out what will work best for both of you is paramount and going into a marriage with an ultimatum is not the best foundation. Hoping you are able to further communicate with your husband your concerns and wishing you a speedy and kind conclusion.
I agree with Meg, this is a difficult situation. I know plenty of couples who are co-parenting and getting along as friends, but this does not seem to be your situation. If the mother is not in her son’s life or your partner’s life, I’m curious why she would want to be at your wedding. Have you asked your partner this? Has she mentioned to him that she wants to be there and this is the reason he is insisting on inviting her? Or is it just him who came up with the idea?
I also suggest talking with your partner to understand why, maybe even asking your step son how he feels
He will have a lifelong relationship with his child and his ex. If you are not comfortable with that relationship you should look in the mirror and ask yourself why you are so insecure in this relationship. This wedding should be postponed until the deeper insecurities in your relationship are addressed which may result in no wedding at all. Get to the bottom of these feelings/emotions before tying the knot.
It's completely suspicious. If she doesn't have a relationship with either of them why is he insisting. Is he wanting to be petty about moving on because he knows his ex still entertains the idea of being with him or is it as horrible as he wants her there because he is cheating on you with his ex. Either way a talk has to happen. A wedding shouldn't happen until all cards are on the table.