You've probably already done this, but maybe sit down with her and have a conversation about everything. Express your feelings and how you've felt, that she has not treated your relationship or your fiancé with the best reactions/respect. To me it sounds like you're sister is feeling left out or maybe as though she is losing you. In these times some people don't know how to regulate their emotions and feel out of control. Leaving them reacting in an ugly way instead of just expressing how they really feel. On top of that sometimes people can't put into words how they really feel. I would say you only have one sister and this is a moment that is once in a life time. Have the hard and truthful conversation with her and if it doesn't go well then that is your answer. On the contrary maybe there will be some break throughs and you guy can get through this and all will be great! Good-luck!
Don't forget sisters are there for life. Looks like you've had a little rift in the not so distant past but try not let it create anything bigger to separate you further. You can explain she hurt your feelings when she chose to belittle the man you love, but you would like her to know she's still very important to you - whether or not you have her as moh. ....Just trying to help you overlook the daily drama and focus on the big picture as you prepare to leave your personal family unit behind and make a unit of your choosing.....
I suggest having an honest conversation with your sister. You deserve to have a wedding without drama. Ask your sister why she hadn't been supportive. Listen intently, and let her speak uninterrupted. You might be able to mend your relationship by listening without judgement. She may just be afraid of losing you. If your sister is still unreasonable, tell her firmly that you only want supportive bridesmaids in your wedding. Many blessings to you and your fiancé. I hope you have a wonderful, peaceful wedding.
Consider having a discussion with her about her feelings regarding your wedding, especially while you are in the early planning stages.
Perhaps she really would prefer not to be your maid of honor, & would feel relieved not to be cast in that role. Is there some other part she would rather play in your wedding?
Is she musical? Could she be a special soloist for you? Or perhaps do a reading of a particular poem that you (&/or your fiance) love? Is there some way to feature her in a special role that lets her shine & be supportive to you in that way?
Just because you each had for years planned with each other to each be the other's maid or matron of honor does not mean that those feelings & preferences are necessarily still current.
Btw, Congratulations & best wishes to you!
And, good luck with sorting out matters with your sister...perhaps a heartfelt tete-a-tete will help to thaw her chill, especially if you let her know that you are seeking to understand her--her feelings, thoughts, & perspectives, & to assure her of your life-long sisterly love for her.
Honestly, the answer is super simple. She never supported your relationship, so why would you feel comfortable enough or why should you feel comfortable enough making her you’re maid of honor if she never respected your relationship from jump.
You've probably already done this, but maybe sit down with her and have a conversation about everything. Express your feelings and how you've felt, that she has not treated your relationship or your fiancé with the best reactions/respect. To me it sounds like you're sister is feeling left out or maybe as though she is losing you. In these times some people don't know how to regulate their emotions and feel out of control. Leaving them reacting in an ugly way instead of just expressing how they really feel. On top of that sometimes people can't put into words how they really feel. I would say you only have one sister and this is a moment that is once in a life time. Have the hard and truthful conversation with her and if it doesn't go well then that is your answer. On the contrary maybe there will be some break throughs and you guy can get through this and all will be great! Good-luck!
Don't forget sisters are there for life. Looks like you've had a little rift in the not so distant past but try not let it create anything bigger to separate you further. You can explain she hurt your feelings when she chose to belittle the man you love, but you would like her to know she's still very important to you - whether or not you have her as moh. ....Just trying to help you overlook the daily drama and focus on the big picture as you prepare to leave your personal family unit behind and make a unit of your choosing.....
I suggest having an honest conversation with your sister. You deserve to have a wedding without drama. Ask your sister why she hadn't been supportive. Listen intently, and let her speak uninterrupted. You might be able to mend your relationship by listening without judgement. She may just be afraid of losing you. If your sister is still unreasonable, tell her firmly that you only want supportive bridesmaids in your wedding. Many blessings to you and your fiancé. I hope you have a wonderful, peaceful wedding.
Consider having a discussion with her about her feelings regarding your wedding, especially while you are in the early planning stages.
Perhaps she really would prefer not to be your maid of honor, & would feel relieved not to be cast in that role. Is there some other part she would rather play in your wedding?
Is she musical? Could she be a special soloist for you? Or perhaps do a reading of a particular poem that you (&/or your fiance) love? Is there some way to feature her in a special role that lets her shine & be supportive to you in that way?
Just because you each had for years planned with each other to each be the other's maid or matron of honor does not mean that those feelings & preferences are necessarily still current.
Btw, Congratulations & best wishes to you!
And, good luck with sorting out matters with your sister...perhaps a heartfelt tete-a-tete will help to thaw her chill, especially if you let her know that you are seeking to understand her--her feelings, thoughts, & perspectives, & to assure her of your life-long sisterly love for her.
Honestly, the answer is super simple. She never supported your relationship, so why would you feel comfortable enough or why should you feel comfortable enough making her you’re maid of honor if she never respected your relationship from jump.
If she was never that supportive to begin with, she might not want to be MoH… you’d be doing her a favor by letter her off the hook.