😲 Why can't I date the best man?

1-800-Bridesmaid

📞 Hello? Hi. It’s me, Jen Glantz. Welcome to the 1-800-Bridesmaid, by Bridesmaid for Hire. A place where real stories are shared and your best advice is given.

This week: A maid of honor wants to date the best man but the bride is saying NO, now and later.

Last week: The bride’s friend is annoyed that she’s not a bridesmaid but is doing all of the work. Here’s what you told her.

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Dear 1-800-Bridesmaid,

I never expected to find myself torn between loyalty to my best friend and the most intense connection I've ever felt with someone.

Melissa asked me to be her maid of honor a year ago, and I've been helping with wedding plans ever since. With three months still to go before the big day, the stress is already mounting for everyone involved. Everything was under control until I met James, the best man, at the engagement party last weekend. One conversation sparked something undeniable between us—the kind of connection that's rare and impossible to ignore.

Melissa cornered me after a venue walkthrough.

"I need to talk to you about James. I've seen how you two were looking at each other. Whatever might be happening needs to stop. Now."

I was stunned. "What? Why?"

"Because this is MY wedding," she snapped. "I need my maid of honor focused on ME for the next three months, not distracted by some fling with the best man. I won't have my special day overshadowed by your romance."

When I asked her if I could pursue him post-wedding, she said no.

"Wait at least a year after the wedding. I don't want people associating my wedding with your relationship starting."

A YEAR after the wedding? That meant waiting fifteen months total. It seemed ridiculous, but she was my oldest friend, and I'd promised to support her.

James texted me this morning, asking if I wanted to grab coffee this weekend. I've been staring at my phone for hours, completely torn. Part of me thinks Melissa is being unreasonable—why should she dictate my personal life for more than a year? But another part understands these next few months are important to her, and my maid of honor duties should come first.

I keep typing responses and deleting them. "Yes, let's meet up" feels like betrayal. "Sorry, I can't" feels like I'm potentially giving up something special.

There's no easy answer. If I pursue this with James now, it could create tension that lasts through the wedding. If I wait, he might not be interested anymore—or worse, meet someone else. Fifteen months is a long time to put life on hold.

I still don't know what to do.

-Lyla

Have more advice for our girl Lyla? Share it here:

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👏 Instant Pick Me Ups

Here is the link to my book!! Finally the Bride. Thank you for considering reading the book and for your support. There are so many ways to help an author — so here are some if you have a few mins to spare:

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🛍️: A few items I swear by this week

• New season = new socks. Finally saying goodbye to the high-socks I wore all winter to stay warm and trading them for these popular ankle socks.

• Everyone I know swear by mouth tape?? Have you tried this? I’m about to give it a go and will let you know what I think.

• My favorite $29.99 H&M jeans are sooo good — I got them in two more colors: light denim and black. I now rotate all three of my pair every day. Here’s the black pair I wore on Friday. The best jeans I have ever owned!

What’s new with Bridesmaid for Hire:

• Jen Glantz here! I’m so grateful you’re here. I started 1-800-Bridesmaid as a way to bring you into the world of my life as a hired bridesmaid for strangers.

  If you’re wondering what I’ve been up to lately, here’s a little preview:

  • A lot of you are reaching out to see if we are still hiring. Yes, but at the moment, there aren’t any open positions. I’ll keep you posted inside the newsletter when open positions to work weddings pop up.

  • My new book Finally the Bride is now available on Amazon!

  • My team and I developed these interactive maid of honor/best man speech, wedding officiant speech, and wedding vow tools. You chat with us about the stories, details, and memories you want to include and I write the speech for you — in just a few hours. If you have a wedding coming up and need a speech, check this out. We’re expanding this month to offer wedding officiant and father of the bride/goom and mother of the bride/groom speeches.

I'm Jen Glantz and this is my Bridesmaid for Hire newsletter.

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