😲 Why do I have to pay for all of this crazy stuff?

1-800-Bridesmaid

📞 Hello? Hi. It’s me, Jen Glantz. Welcome to the 1-800-Bridesmaid, by Bridesmaid for Hire. A place where real stories are shared and your best advice is given.

This week: A friend is wondering why she has to pay so much money to be a part of the bridal party. It feels… odd?

Last week: A woman does not want her fiance to invite his ex to the wedding. He says she has to be there. Here’s what you told her.

Hold please:

• Press 1️⃣ for all things Bridesmaid for Hire

• Press 2️⃣ to read past stories

• Press 3️⃣ to write into the Bridesmaid for Hire hotline

---

Dear 1-8-00-Bridesmaid,

My friendship with my best friend ended abruptly over her bachelorette party, and I'm wondering if I'm missing something here.

For context, I live in Australia and my best friend (let's call her Claire) is getting married in New Orleans. When she asked me to be a bridesmaid, I was thrilled and immediately agreed, despite knowing it would be expensive. I had already:

• Requested vacation time from my new job

• Purchased international flights ($2,000+)

• Committed to a week-long bachelorette party

• Paid over $4,000 in total for various wedding expenses

Everything was fine until last week when another bridesmaid suddenly dropped out. Claire and her Maid of Honor (let's call her Vanessa) informed me that I would need to cover the missing bridesmaid's $1,000 share of the bachelorette accommodations and activities.

I explained that I simply couldn't afford this unexpected additional cost. Claire told me it "wasn't her problem" and to discuss it with Vanessa since she "didn't want to deal with it." When I spoke with Vanessa, she berated me, saying I "wasn't an adult" because I didn't have a credit card for "these types of expenses" and that I should be willing to go into debt for Claire's bachelorette.

I offered some alternatives:

1. Finding another person to join and cover the costs

2. Downsizing the accommodations since we now had 5 people instead of 10

3. Splitting the extra costs among all remaining attendees

They rejected all of these suggestions as "unacceptable" and continued to pressure just me to pay the full additional amount. When I finally said I might not be able to attend the full bachelorette events if I had to pay this much more, Claire immediately uninvited me from BOTH the bachelorette AND wedding, stating that "due to my actions I was no longer a bridesmaid" - then blocked me on everything.

What's confusing me most is:

• They only asked ME to cover these costs, not any other attendees

• I was willing to still participate and offered multiple solutions

• Isn't handling dropouts supposed to be the MOH's responsibility?

Am I missing something here? Is it normal to expect bridesmaids to go into credit card debt for wedding events? I've already spent so much money and made major arrangements to be there for my friend.

I'd appreciate any advice or perspective. This friendship has meant the world to me, but I'm at a complete loss right now.

-Brooke

Have more advice for Brooke? Share it here:

---

👏 Professional Bridesmaid Picks of the Week

Hello dear April! It might a rainy month, but here are some easy ways to bring some sunshine into your dazzling days.

1. Book: I’ve talked too much about this book but if you’re looking for a quick read you can’t put down — remember — this book feels like the pages are lined with sugar. It’s addicting.

2. Song: Turn the volume on this one and change your mood.

3. Makeup: I’ve worn the same three makeup products every day for the past 15 years. But last week, I went to Sephora and finally found a handful of new items that I adore. Here are the four products I honestly love and replaced my very old stuff with. Full makeup try-on video here.

• Ilia Foundation: I can’t stand foundation that feels thick and globby. I’ve only ever worn powder foundation before but tried this foundation (with sunscreen!!) and am loving it. It’s lightweight but provides good coverage.

• Merit Blush: Easy to just slide this blush on and rub it in. Love the color selection too.

• Merit Lipstick: I got this in the color millennial (LOL) and I love how it looks natural. Stays on for hours!

• Tower28 Lipgloss: I bought this for the 3rd time. It’s a great on-the-go lipgloss.

4. Kids Gift: If you’re heading to a toddler’s birthday party, here’s my go-to gift. It’s one of Gemma’s favorite toys to play with.

5. At-Home Workouts: I’m staying super consistent with my nighttime workouts by keeping them simple. I wear these Bala bangles and press play on these free YouTube workouts. I’m always sore in the AM! I also grabbed this workout mat because it folds up nicely and is easy to store. A bit pricey but good quality.

What’s new with Bridesmaid for Hire:

Jen Glantz here! I’m so grateful you’re here. I started 1-800-Bridesmaid as a way to bring you into the world of my life as a hired bridesmaid for strangers.

• If you’re wondering what I’ve been up to lately, here’s a little preview:

  • A lot of you are reaching out to see if we are still hiring. Yes, but at the moment, there aren’t any open positions. I’ll keep you posted inside the newsletter when open positions to work weddings pop up.

  • My new book Finally the Bride is now available on Amazon!

  • My team and I developed these interactive maid of honor/best man speech, wedding officiant speech, and wedding vow tools. You chat with us about the stories, details, and memories you want to include and I write the speech for you — in just a few hours. If you have a wedding coming up and need a speech, check this out. We’re expanding this month to offer wedding officiant and father of the bride/goom and mother of the bride/groom speeches.

I'm Jen Glantz and this is my Bridesmaid for Hire newsletter <3