😳 I Picked the Wrong Bridesmaid
1-800-Bridesmaid
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This week: A bride admits she picked the wrong bridesmaid. But the wedding is over and she has interesting advice for you.👇
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😳 I Picked the Wrong Bridesmaid
Dear 1-800-Bridesmaid,
I recently got married and, overall, I'm thrilled with how the day turned out. There were some little things that went wrong but it was still a really good time.
But I have to confess that during the whole wedding process, one of my bridesmaids was awful. She made everything about her and brought so much drama to the whole group. Honestly, she made even the littlest things a nightmare to deal with.
She wouldn’t order her dress. I gave her months to do it. Everyone else did. Finally I told her that if she doesn’t order it, she can’t be a bridesmaid. She said, in the group chat, wow way to get Bridezilla on me.
On the bachelorette party, she complained about sharing a room. Everyone shared a room but me. She was practically throwing a temper tantrum about it so I gave her my room and I shared a room with two other bridesmaids.
In the middle of my bridal shower, she let out a very audible sigh and said: anyone else bored by these games? My grandma heard this and later asked me why my bridesmaid was so rude.
I wish the stories ended before the wedding began, but no. On my wedding day, she was next level. Obviously she hated her hair and makeup. She made the hair stylist redo her hair three times. One of my other bridesmaids couldn’t get her hair done because the stylist ran out of time.
During the reception, she sat at her table the entire time on her phone.
I know you don’t know this girl but I have known her since middle school. She’s always been annoying like this. I just hoped that she’d pull it together and not be like this for my wedding.
But wow, I was wrong.
People don’t change just because you hope they will.
Dealing with her was so stressful that it really made my whole wedding process filled with anxiety.
At work, I manage a team of 10 people. If I could go back in time, I’d treat her like an employee. The first time she did something “bad” I’d give her feedback. After that, I’d give her a warning. Then, I’d give her a final warning, before finally sitting her down and saying: you’re fired.
I know that friends are not “professional bridesmaids” and I didn’t except my bridesmaids to be perfect — but I did hope they’d be respectful and she wasn’t.
It’s been a month since my wedding and I refuse to talk to her. I’ve completely ghosted her.
My advice to anyone else dealing with an awful bridesmaid is don’t let it drag on. Don’t feel bad about saying: Hey, you haven’t been a good friend lately and I don’t want you as a bridesmaid anymore.
Replaying all of this back, that’s exactly what I should have done. The friendship is dead anyway.
-Cindy
Do you agree with Cindy? Share your thoughts + advice:
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1000%. You are probably a kind person who helps and celebrates others. And it’s unusual that you have a day just about you and your husband. If something will stand in the way of your happiness, nip it in the bridal bud!
How sad! I wonder if she hated the spotlight being on you rather than herself. And I hope your bridesmaid was able to get a refund for not being able to get her hair done. Amazed and appalled by this whole situation. I hope it didn't completely ruin the experience for you!